Thought for the day

Cultural relativism means that you're not bad. You just have to find the society in which murder, rape, and cannibalism are cultural norms.

Has Atlas already shrugged?

When I see the nationalization of major industries, pirates on the high seas threatening commercial shipping, and f*cking trains crashing into one another, I am always reminded of a book that a certain author wrote over fifty years ago.

It was prophetic.

When I look around and see who is in power, and entertain the crazy notion that those people are in power because my fellow Americans put them there, I feel "deeply concerned." Disappointed, really.

Now, go hang your heads in shame. All of you.

Father's Day

Today was Father's Day and throughout the day, I did reflect a little about being a father, what it means to me, and what it should mean.

Where does one learn about fatherhood? If you grew up in an intact home, you learn from your father. If not, then you have a problem. You could watch TV and try to emulate Homer Simpson, though he's not exactly a role model.

Let's see here...Let's find a positive manly role-model in the media...

Nope. I couldn't think of any, either. Men are portrayed as either pyschopathic killers (Rambo) or lazy, stupid, bumbling oafs (Tim Allen from Home Improvement).

Have men forgotten how to be men? People don't even call us men anymore. They call us "males." A man is a male human being, and referring to us as "males" is by definition dehumanizing. I want you to think about that when you listen to the radio or watch television. Maybe you'll pay closer attention to the words people choose to use. Ask yourself: What is the underlying purpose of this subtle, but ubiquitous dehumanization?

So, now that I've got that out of my system what does it mean to be a father? It means having an enormous amount of patience and understanding. It means caring and going out of your way to do things for the ones you love. It means that your wife and your child are dear and that nothing else comes close to being as important. It means having a set of values that you try to live by and pass on.

It also means you are willing to commit acts of extreme and devastating violence to protect those that you love. Take a cue from Odysseus: If you don't stand up and kill the bunch of uninvited thugs in your home, who will?

List of failed marketing ideas

1. Brainsoft: Learning shouldn't be hard.
2. Oil of Olaf: Smooth as a viking and leather soft.
3. Federal Cleaning Product: When you care about your family just enough to do the very least that is legally required.
4. Saladines: All the great flavors of salad you have grown to love in a decadent cookie.
5. Anvil: Smash your headache into oblivion!
6. SqualorMart: Bringing the 3rd world to your doorstep.
7. Everybody Dies: a fun-filled, humorous children's book about the inevitability of death
8. Allerzone: Because zombification is a small price to pay for allergy relief
9. Depressios: Why should your breakfast cereal be cheery? Little bites shaped like zeros to remind you of what your life amounts to.

When I think of more, I'll post them.

Virtual Vanity

This is my first blog entry. Now everyone can read about my favorite subject: ME!

No.

Maybe.

The main purpose of this blog is to express ideas that might seem a little strange to the uninitiated.

So, there isn't much you need to know about me, other than I intend to be the scourge of unwarranted assumptions.

If you are interested in my blog, I will be truly surprised, perhaps flattered, perhaps horrified. This is where I can sound off. I'm only hoping the Powers That Be won't be tracing my brand of independent thoughts back to me in order to hook me up for some cerebral reprogramming or fashionable iron legwear.

So, be forewarned: if you intend to read my thoughts, you are committing thoughtcrime. Think of me as your own personal Emmanual Goldstien.

Nigel Strange: giving you ideas that are just too strange for you to invent yourself.